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things are really good lately. my ireland&england vacation with derv is booked so it’s official, schools almost over, i’ve made awesome friends, been having fun, and been happyyyyyy. i like being happyyy. i’m glad i’m back to being in a good mood lately. i was telling christa last night that a few weeks ago i was in a miserable rut, and i hated it. i hate feeling like that and being like that. i never want to feel like that again. i just want to be happy. and forget all my worries. =] 

anyway, i gotta finish my art project after my italian class so i can go out tonight. i really hope i get it done cause i wanna hang out with my peoples.! 

“We watched the sunset and we told ourselves to never forget

Just how good it felt to be surrounded
By a town that we knew like the back of our hands
We felt alive, hoped for the very first time

Is it safe to say in the morning you’ll come back
And things will be the same
‘Cause since the day you left, you know I’ve
Had a hard time and I want you to know
If you hear these words, won’t you please just come back?

It’s been a year now
But I still appreciate the sundown
It reminds me somehow things will work out
And I’ll fall to your arms, just like I’d always do
It felt so good, it was the very first time I felt alive
Yeah, so alive

Is it safe to say in the morning you’ll come back
And things will be the same
‘Cause since the day you left, you know I’ve
Had a hard time and I want you to know
If you hear these words, won’t you please just come back?

If I could sing this out loud, I’d scream it to the clouds
And everyone in this town would know what I’m about
Rather die than feel this pain take me over again
It’s so hard to let you go

Is it safe to say?

Is it safe to say in the morning you’ll come back
And things will be the same
‘Cause since the day you left, you know I’ve
Had a hard time and I want you to know
If you hear these words, won’t you please just come back?”

-Valencia, Safe To Say

…and you know that it’s true

and you know that you feel it too…

“i stand alone

because no one can save you when you sunk this low

we’re ditching the grammar

we all need to find our own

why does it seem that no one can save their own soul? …”

so i went on a city adventure today and it was funnnn. i got my nose pierced and it turned out good! i’m happy about it! meg, abby, and christa all got stuff pierced too. it’s always fun to get piercings cause it’s a good change when life gets a little boring. plus it’s cute! i’m just kinda nervous to tell my mom, i don’t want her to get mad… parents just don’t understand! haha but yeah, all in all it was a fun day. things are getting better. i’m happier lately. i think i’m almost outta that rut i was in, for the most part. i think the weather is also helping my mood a lot. sunshine=a happy melissa. i laid outside today with christa and ashley and there was so many people out there, it was a good atmosphere. we were blowing bubbles and i wrote in my journal and people-watched. it was definitely chill. but yeah i feel so much better lately. finally. i’ll feel REALLY better though when i get all this homework done. this weekend my goal is to get like 90% of it done. we’ll see how that goes! but yeah i’m so excited for summer although i’m really starting to like school lately. that always happens, just when i start having fun i have to leaveee. i had so much fun this semester. it was really stressful and definitely had it’s ups and downs but overall i had a good time. i met so many more people and became good friends with a lot of people which i’m happy about. i’m just gonna miss my friends graduating.. it’s always a mixture of emotions with that cause part of me is happy for them, part of me is sad that they’re leaving me! :( . but yeah i’m definitely enjoying myself lately. met some cool people on my floor which helped too. i’m glad i’m starting to like it here! :) anyway, i’m just happy that i’m happier lately. hopefully it stays like this foreverrrrrrr!

no more depressing posts from me on here from now on.

i went to the gym today, took a nap, did all my homework early, was sober and it feels so good. i feel better already. i just need to get myself in check. i need to remember that life’s too short to be anything but happy. and i need to not care about anything meaningless. 

:) good night! :)

i’m so sick of feeling like this. it seems i’m never really happy anymore, there’s always something bothering me. it’s everything lately. i just want to be okay again and not feel anything but content. i hate being like this. it’s not me at all. i’m always happy, always looking on the bright side, always silly, always chill, always stable, always confident. i have none of those qualities lately. it’s just been like, the past month… idk why. i think it might be the lack of sleep i’ve been having, and just stress, maybe even the weather. i just feel so weighed down lately and so unsatisfied with everything and everyone. i feel like such a pessimistic and downer lately and i feel embaressed for being like this lately. i just want to go back to being myself again and being okay with everything. i need to chill the fuck out. i need summer to come i think. i think that’s definitely what i need. i just really hate feeling this way. i hope i get back to normal soon. i’m gonna take a nap now and see if that helps a little. 

i’m SO unmotivated lately. i need to get my act together, now! i gotta do a lot of make up work so i can get back on track. but yeah. summer is SO soon! i’m so pumped cause there’s gonna be a lot of fun stuff happening. for one, i’m going to ireland! hell yeah! and then i’m gonna work my ass off at gabriel’s on the ice cream counter, (yay for money).. and then there’s warped tour, the beach, apw hopefully, cruising in my convertible, and so on. i love summerrr. i’m so pumped for it. it’s definitely exciting to think about. so yeah, there’s only a few weeks left of school, so i really need to start cracking down and do everything i need to do so i can enjoy summer. i need to get focused!

i need to stop worrying about fixing other people and start focusing on fixing myself. lately i’ve been so bothered with fixing my friends problems but i need to be selfish and just worry about mine. and i need to stop figuring out ways to change people. i need to just let them be. i can’t fix or change anyone, it’s only up to them. but i can change myself. and i need to focus on myself before anyone else. i just need to stop worrying in general. idk how i got like this. i need a massage. i’m so tense lately. i just need to chill out and know that everything is okay…

from confidence to self doubt…

i need to get out of this rut i’m in. it’s bad. i’m getting cranky, bothered easily, upset, worried, etc. that isn’t me. i guess it’s the stress of everything lately. but i can’t let it bring me down. life’s too short to be anything but happy. from now on i need to be as carefree and as happy as i used to be. i felt so much better then. and i hate feeling like this. i hate being pissy all the time. i like being happy. so hopefully i’ll be better from now on. i gotta check myself when i’m in a bad mood and snap out of it. like i said, life is too short for anything else.

and over analyze your words….

blah.

in the mean time, a day to remember tonight and brand new tomorrow! definitely makes up for my crappy week.