my main focus for now is gonna be me really really trying to let go. i want to just let go of all this stress, anger, and sadness that i’ve been holding back for so long. i just want to get rid of it all. i was looking back on how i used to act in highschool and it made me sad thinking how much my personlity has changed. i mean, it hasn’t changed that drastically, i’m still the same person as i was back then. but after this whole divorce shit went down, i couldn’t help but be bummed out. but now that it’s been almost three years since the separation, i really just want to focus on letting go of everything and moving on. i just wanna be really happy again. i wanna be silly and giggly and have fun 24/7 like i used to. i miss the days where i was so fucking silly all the time and crazyyyy and didn’t care about a thing. i want that back. i know it’s not gonna be the same, but i just wanna be free again. i wanna have this weight lifted off my shoulders, i want this tension from my body gone, and i just wanna feel alive again. and i wanna stop feeling so damn self consious (sp?). i wanna not give a fuck, i wanna dance like no one is watching, to do whatever i want, and not care. and i want to let love in. i want to find a guy who is good for me and actually put my wall down for once. i’ve just been so scared and jaded and bruised from all this hurt. i just want to be me completely again. i want to break outta this rut that i’ve been in. i want to go wild and crazy and live my youth to the absolute fullest. not saying that i haven’t. i’ve been having fun and partying and living. but i want more. i don’t wanna let the best years of my life be ruined by all this sadness. so i’m really gonna try and focus on moving on as best as i can, and letting myself go, and not holding back anymore.